Tuesday, March 25, 2008

White Pants Must Go !

It appears the new fashion trend on the PGA Tour is white trousers. Here's the short list of golfers wearing white slacks during the WGC-CA Championship last week at Doral. Geoff Ogilvy, Adam Scott, (albeit with some kind of checkerboard deal), Louis Oosthuzen, yes that Louis Oosthuzen, Sergio, Rory Sabbatini, Lee Westwood, Paul Casy, Ian Poulter, Luke Donald, and Camilo Villegas, to name a few. White pants get dirty. White pants don't represent any kind of power. But mostly, we know what happens to white pants when they get wet. White pants have to go on the golf course. They're just too weird. White pants serve a purpose in society however, just not in golf. Men's golf. White pants are perfectly OK in ladies golf, when they're wet. To address the travesty I've started G.A.W.P., Golfer's Against White Pants. Send donations in care of the author.

Here's average golfer's definitive list of who can wear white slacks......

1. Nurses
2. Doctors
3. The person that made my doughnut.
4. Lab Techs
5. Veterinarians
6. EMTs
7. Ship Captains, thinkin' Love Boat here.
8. Painters
9. Midshipmen
10. First communion recipients.

Got any to add? Lay 'em on me. *(Photo depicts unacceptable use of white pants) Photo by Malingering.

Til' next,


  1. Hey Bob
    You have given me a new mission, find some white pants for our next tee time.
    As for other people who white looks good on, Caddies at the masters, I think all caddies should be dressed this way. Democrats would be perfect for white pants, (they always believe they are clean as whistle or they will ride in on their white horse and save the day) for example Luv-Gov. Spitzer, Detroit Mayor Kilpatrick, Hillary Rodham, and Barrack Hussein Obama. Hey the karate Kid, and Johnny Unitas. Well got to go to work now. Dean

  2. You forgot Pimps. I've known a few Pimps who wear white pants, and I do feel they're appropriate for that particular profession, encrusted with diamonds earns bonus points.

    These gentlemen rarely have time in their busy schedules for golf however.

  3. Pimps! Yes, pimps!
    How did I miss that one? That's great, thanks.

    Do you remember the TV character Huggy Bear? He dressed like a pimp, or perhaps he was one. I can't recall what show he was on.