Monday, November 3, 2008

Election Day at Average Golfer - Vote Early and Often.

Forget the presidency. Let's vote on some issues that really matter. Face it, the president doesn't actually have much power by themselves other than the veto button and the armed forces when we've declared a state of conflict/war. I'm calling on all red-blooded citizens of the world to cast their vote on questions whose consequences will reverberate through the halls of time and have some real world impact. "If it ain't golf, it don't matter!" -Average Golfer, 2001.

I'll post the final tallies within a few days of Election Day. Cast those ballots and they'll be tallied via the comments section or email me at

1. Proposition 1, Mulligans.

A. What took so long?
B. Never.

2. Proposition 13, Tim Finchem for US Secretary of the Treasury.

A. Now we'll have some cash.
B. Now we'll really go broke.

3. Proposition 20, Free golf.

A. It's a human right.
B. It'll bring icky people to my course.

4. Proposition 31, Outlaw cargo shorts on the course.

A. They're ruining golf's precious image.
B. We can't afford to turn anyone away.

5. Proposition 39, Separate sex rounds mandatory.

A. Here, here!
B. My wife/girlfriend would slice my throat in my sleep.

6. Declaration 4, Throw out the slow players!

A. About freakin' time.
B. Hey, who you callin' slow!

7. Proposition 52, Ban cliche interviews with pro golfers.

A. Yes, they make my hair hurt.
B. No, then there wouldn't be any interviews at all.

8. Coronation 63, Name your poster child for World Golf.

A. John Daly.
B. Paula Creamer.
C. Write-in __________.

9. Abomination 47, What do you hate most about the golf culture?

A. Snobbiness.
B. Inclusion.

10. Survey 101, This year my game........

A. Improved.
B. Sucked worse than ever.
C. Stayed the same, hum-drum.

11. Question 29, Who would you rather play a round with? It's play a round, not play around.

A. Obama
B. McCain
C. Ralph Nader
D. Ron Paul
E. Hillary

12. Inebriation Ballot 4, Drinking should be mandatory on the course.

A. You mean it's not?
B. Demon drink kills rounds.

Thank you for your anticipated participation. All results will be kept confidential unless otherwise noted. Your email addresses and website info will absolutely not be sold, unless of course Average Golfer receives a mind blowing offer.

Til' next,

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